Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting

OK, so, it's another beautiful day here in sunny Arizona. The sun shines all the time. No, seriously. The sun never stops shining.

I know you're all dying for the long awaited story of Saturday night, so here goes:

The plan was as follows: 1) Drive to Scottsdale, 2) check into hotel, 3) have an early dinner at restaurant that Jamie picked, 4) ride in scary, air-brushed limo to bar/club that Krysten picked, 5) drink excessively. Krysten even hoped that someone would 6) up on the bathroom floor. I did not quite share these particular aspirations but was fully on board with the first 5.

The plan didn't quite work out.

We drove to Scottsdale and checked into the hotel; first two steps of plan, A-OK.

Next step, Jamie's chosen restaurant, Fez. Krysten's husband had told us it was close- "well, you probably wouldn't want to walk it, but it's really easy to get to." So, we asked the front desk how to get to Central Dr. He gave us ridiculously convaluded directions that we followed for a while, then called Chanelle's husband to give up google-map help, which turned us around to drive the other direction. Twice. We finally called Fez and got directions but it turns out that there's a Central Dr. in Scottsdale and a Central Dr. in Phoenix and and Fez' Central is past the 1st street (we were at 52nd). We took a long, leisurely drive through the stripper club section of town ("Aren't you curious?"). We FI-nally got the the restaurant. The drinks and food were fantastic. SO, step 3 accomplished in a wee bit more time than we had anticipated. No biggie.

Back to the hotel, called the limo. Chanelle and I took a quick power nap.

Step 4: Scary limo ride to Sugar Daddy's... a cajun-esque bar/club that Krysten had found. They had free limo service within a 7-mile radius. Our hotel, thanks to Krysten's stellar planning skills, was 5.6 miles away from the bar. However, the limo took us about 10 miles out of the way. But it was cool, even if I accidentally landed in Chanelle's lap a coupla times.

We get to the bar. It's freezing. We wait in line. We get to the front. Jamie doesn't have her ID. Big, scary bouncer refuses to let Jamie in. Jamie tries to appeal to his good nature and assures him that she is well past the legal drinking age cut off. No dice. Krysten calls limo dude back, who says he will come get me but he's got some other people in line so it'll be a while. It's like 11:30 by this time. Jamie, Krysten, and Chanelle huddle around some trash cans to wait for him. Jamie spends the next hour imploring the other girls to go in without her, to no avail.

He comes almost an hour later. Jamie's feet are frozen. She manages to get Krysten and Chanelle to go in and she gets in the limo with the an obnoxious group of drunk, trashy 20-somethings on their way to another bar. There were 13 of them. One of them sat on me, and I getting drunk from their breath alone. They were whooping and hollering and shouting directions to the (very patient) driver who kept apologizing that I had to share my ride. It was quite possibly one of the least favorite half-hours of my life. The gang finally got out and he drove me back to the hotel. Again with the long way! By this time it was 1am and the bar closes at 2, so Jamie just gets in bed with her book.

Meanwhile, over at Sugar Daddy's....

The girls rolled in around 1:30 (apparently the limo dude went straight from dropping me off to picking them up). No one drank excessively. No one ended up on the bathroom floor. But, damn, doesn't it make a good story??