Wednesday, January 11, 2006

The Great Diet Sprite Caper, and How to be an Awesome Friend

That's right, it's two for the price of one here at No Day but Today.

So, first of all, I worked 13 hours today. I know one feels sorry for me, since I just had ohhhh, almost a month off, so I'll just pass the pity party up and say that I was mucho excited to come back to Ye Olde Bahia Mar for some room service and LOST - the first new one since friggin' Thanksgiving.

I get home, drop off my backpack, turn off the AC and throw open my balcony door, take a few deep intoxicating breaths of salty sea air, grab some $1 bills, my ice bucket, and my room key, and head over to the 4th floor vending machines to get myself some ice and a Diet Sprite. See, I had noticed earlier that the vending machine carried Diet Sprite, which is a bit of a rarity, so I wanted to take advantage. Buuut, it was not meant to be, as the 4th floor soda machine was not taking bills.

Not to be daunted, I go back to my room to get quarters. Alas, I do not have enough change ('cause you know, at hotels, a can of soda costs $1.25). Still undaunted, I search carefully through my wallet for the two newest, crispest bills I have (and by the way, is it normal for a person's wallet to contain 13 $1 bills? I didn't think so either. No stripper jokes.) and go back to the vending machine. Still, no dice. So, I head to the 5th floor. Yay, it takes my dollars! I'm all happy, and I press the Diet Sprite button, and it gives me a Diet Coke with Lime. Now, I love Diet Coke with Lime, but it's 8pm and I haven't slept well in I don't know... a month? so I really just wanted a caffeine-free beverage. Plus, now I was on a mission. I would not be outdone by my quest for a Diet Sprite. I go back to the 4th floor for more money, and then onward and upward to the 6th floor. Keep in mind that this hotel has 18 floors, and 2 elevators, so this is not a quick endeavor. The 6th floor? No Diet Sprite button. I contemplated pushing the Diet Coke button and seeing if a Diet Sprite would come out, but figured that wasn't good logic for a person who was still only carrying 2 $1 bills and needed 5/8 of that money for the Diet Sprite which was literally consuming every fiber of my being. 7th floor. JACKPOT. By then, I was really wishing I had more money with me, so I could get two. But, I didn't. So I didn't. And in case you're wondering, I'm drinking that Diet Sprite right now. And enjoying it to its fullest capacity (or as much as someone can enjoy a calorie-free, caffeine-free beverage).

Can anyone believe that I made a Diet Sprite story last that long? Yeah, I'm just that good.

OK, so, next story. How to be an Awesome Friend, by Danael Broussard. Today, I get back to the hotel and throw down my backpack and well, you already know that part of the story. Well, I have a message from the bellstand saying I have a Fed Ex. I call them, they bring it to me. I assume it's work, right? Nope. It's from Bruce, who I haven't seen since August, who knew I was coming to Ft. Lauderdale (and had asked me what hotel I was staying at, since he comes here all the time for work and is familiar with the area). "Jamie, what was inside the package?" you ask? I'll tell you, dear reader.

Two PayDay candy bars.

That's all. No note. He just overnighted me two PayDay bars. Why? Because Bruce and I spent the summer of 1997 together in North Carolina. I had recently found out I was allergic to chocolate, and a ton of other things, and was in the midst of changing my diet, and everyone knows that the best non-chocolate candy bar in the world is a PayDay. So, at the time, I was still young and thin and eating candy bars all the damn time, and was in full-on PayDay obsession. There was also this one time that we were poor and starving and went searching through the floors of my 1988 Buick Park Avenue (puse, oh baby) for loose change and found EXACTLY the right amount to get 2 candy bars and 2 Sam's Choice sodas. It was our dinner that night. We were sad, no? But then there was this incident with the soda machine that was perhaps one of the funniest things to ever happen to me, ever... I'll let Bruce post about it, but laughed so hard I think I honestly might have peed my pants a little. I'm certain at the very least, I fell to the ground and actually rolled on it, yes, at Wal-Mart.

Anyway, the point is this: Bruce remembered for the past 9 years that I love PayDays. He thought about me when he was at the store and picked up a couple, and then paid to overnight them to me in Florida. How freaking thoughtful is that? I mean, isn't that what friendship is all about? Paying attention, being thoughtful? I think it's a big part.

By the power vested in me, I hereby designate January 11 as Official Danael Broussard Day. I'm even dressed as him, in honor, like we did that one Halloween when we were late to a party and went as each other. Yep: khakis, a tee-shirt, sneakers, and glasses. That's the Bruce Uniform. I wear it with pride.

Thanks Bruce!! You're the best!


Blogger krysten said...

i am starting a list of things i must hear about...

1. walmart vending machine story

January 12, 2006 7:31 AM  
Anonymous Amy Goetz said...

ji don't think danael could be a nicer guy! we've only met a couple of time...if that...but go danael!

January 12, 2006 8:28 AM  
Blogger Dannybrou said...

I hope you liked them Jamie! Miss you.

List of stories that everyone must hear about.
1. Walmart Vending Machine
2. Taco Bell in Black Mountain North Carolina.
3. Deck the Walls; Jamie's hurky, kissing through the pain of glass, breaking 8 pieces of glass and running them to the dumpster.
4. Burnt pecan pie
5. Its not so bad I can't eat it.
6. Tripping Hope while trying to race to the car. (I bet you forgot about that one Jamie)
7. JAMIE!!!!! DANAEL!!!!!!

I could go on....

January 13, 2006 6:43 AM  
Blogger hello jamie: said...

I was going to say:

a) the night my car caught on fire
b) the great marker fight of 1997 (I have pictures of this one; remember when Carl wrote his name on my forehead and I hit him where it hurt and wrote my name, address, telephone number, and SSN on his?)
c) selling plasma for Gap money
d) the kidnapping of a certain bungee-jumping stuffed pup (I have the ransom picture)
e) "the wind beneath my wings"
f) your #7... how we became a staff skit, but didn't even know it, because we were far too cool to attend such functions.

January 13, 2006 7:27 AM  
Blogger Dannybrou said...

8. How we stole the Tran Stop Dan sign and hid it underneath the carpet in your trunk for 10 weeks. I still have it.
9. the 20 minute nap in nowhere tennessee.

January 13, 2006 8:53 AM  
Blogger hello jamie: said...

TRAN STOP DAN!!!!!!!!! I TO-tally forgot about that. Hahahahaha! Classic.

To those who are actually still reading this, there was (and might still be) a silly little "Tran" that drove around Ridgecrest, where Dan and I worked in the summer of 1997 (and I the two summers prior). Its stops were named after the 12 tribes of Israel. Can you believe we stole that sign? I'm certain there's a special spot in hell for people that steal from religious organizations.

From the summer before that, I have TEXAS AVE. that we stole from Montreat College, about a block away from Billy Graham's house.

Yeah, I'm going to hell.

January 13, 2006 8:58 AM  
Blogger Dannybrou said...

that is so crazy!!!! LOL I am cracking up.

Do you remember Noah Swaty from ETBU? Do you know he spent the last few years @ montreat getting his degree in forest or tree hugger ministry or something...

January 13, 2006 9:08 AM  
Blogger hello jamie: said...

That's kinda hot.

January 13, 2006 12:51 PM  

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