update from Louisville... Kentucky.

Ok, first things first. Remember last year when Bruce sent me candy bars to Florida? I need to once again laud him for his acute "best kind of friend a person could have"-edness. Now I've had a rough couple of weeks. Last week I spent about 20 hours a day on the couch, leaving only once day to go to yoga, shower, and get back on the couch. I spoke to very few people and I saw no one. Saturday I finally had to drag myself back into the land of the living, and fly to Louisville, so I forced myself to get up, pack, actually blow-dry my hair and put on makeup, and am ready with about 10 minutes to spare (never happens). Out of nowhere, there's a knock on my door (also never happens). I open it to see Bruce standing there! I haven't talked to him in forever, probably haven't seen him in at least 6-8 months. So I just kind of stammer "What are you doing here?" and he says, "well, I was sort of in the area, and you seemed like you have been having a bad week, so I thought I'd come over and give you a hug." I literally burst into tears. I was like, "well, I need to leave for the airport in 10 minutes," and he said "that's exactly how much time I have." So, we chatted for 10 minutes (and hugged like, 5 times) and I left for the airport, my faith in humanity completely restored.

Thank you, Danael. There are no words to explain how much that little gesture meant to me.

Next... there are some crazy crazies here in Louisville, Kentucky. I can't get over the accent, to begin with, and I hail from a great land of Southern accents myself. A few examples of the Kentucky-Crazy:

• on Saturday night, a bunch of sad, trashy, 40-something year old women asked me to put a quarter (or a penny... she kept saying "a quarter or a penny"... the hell?) in their bras. Apparently they were on some sort of sad, trashy, 40-something year old bachelorette party scavenger hunt, which I'm pretty sure females over the age of 22 should never do.
• at a bar where my co-worker and I were eating, I push the candle in front of me to the right about 4 inches, and the older African-American gentlemen 2 stools down says "Have you ever poured hot candle wax or had hot wax poured on you during love-making?" Ummm, the hell??? If I did, sir, do you think I would tell a complete stranger about it at a bar? Also, love-making? Who the hell says that?? And that's the only thing he said to me all night long. Completely bizarre.
• yesterday a man came by the service desk and told me he had my name tattoo'd on his arm. He lift up his shirt sleeve to reveal a big heart with a scrolling banner across the bottom that says "your name." Seriously. "Your name." Tattoo'd on his arm. As in, permanently. Again, I say... the hell?

The workers here kept talking to me at length in their Kentucky-Crazy accents about nothing. Last night some dude talked to me for like 15 minutes about how disappointed he was when he "wasted 10 whole dollars" at Southfork, like I personally had something to do with it, and this morning a lady teamster talked to me forever about her 14-hour shift at Caesar's last night. I have a mound of paperwork on my desk (and yet... I'm blogging) and kept myself very busy the entire time she was lurking around my desk... like, seriously? Do I look inviting to you?? Because most all over these great United States, people b*tch at me for being standoffish, or anti-social, or how I need to frakkin' SMILE (one of my greatest grievances in life), but apparently in Kentucky, my face says "bring me the crazy."

So anyway, happy Monday. A best-of-times-worst-of-times dual-story day about how awesome people are and how crazy people are, all at the same time.

lately I've been thinking 'bout some pretty strange things...

...more than I'll admit.
Like the exact moment when the milk goes bad, and even then, isn't it good for something?
But not as much about why bad things happen to good folks and age old questions,
But more about why good things happen at all, and why I don't notice them...

Here's lyrics to the whole song, if you're interested. Lately I've been thinking some pretty strange things, too, but more like why does Comedy Central show so many horror movie trailers?

Anyway, I've got some pretty serious bad karma (and ... again), and I really need to turn it around. I have had a pretty shitty couple of weeks... I worked like 100 hours while I was in Denver, I've been under some fairly serious emotional distress, and I think I'm in the middle of an existential crisis. And by existential, I mean where to exist in this world more than the next one. So maybe existential is the wrong word. But, whatever.

Today I realized that the Fed Ex I dropped off to the midnight clerk on Sunday night never left the bellman's closet. Meaning in addition to the fact that my show files aren't back at the Boston office, neither are my $1200 worth of expense reports that I really, really needed to be on this week's paycheck.

I also realized that I need to do laundry for my trip on Saturday, and I'm out of detergent and dryer sheets, so I would have to go back to the store, even though I went yesterday to get toilet paper, which I forgot when I went on Monday. Geez. So I thought I'd go on my way to yoga. I briefly considered that it was a somewhat ill-laid plan to leave in 5pm traffic to run an errand and indeed, was I correct.

I got hit by a truck turning from the wrong lane - or it could be that I was turning from the wrong lane; I'm honestly not sure, but he didn't pull over anyway, so it's kind of a moot point. Either way, the damage is only cosmetic (and minor) as far as I can tell, but I'm still pretty pissed. Then I stopped at Whole Foods to get detergent and laundry sheets... why are eco-friendly dryer sheets like $14? The hell? I also got stuck in the "12 Items or Less" lane- the lady in front of me couldn't decide whether to pay with cash or plastic, and then once she made up her mind, had to count out her exact change, resulting in my being too late to go to yoga. So I drove up to Central Market, where my Seventh Generation detergent I had just bought was $2 cheaper, but they still didn't have dryer sheets. Grrr~

So anyway, now I'm back at home. I didn't work out, I didn't get dryer sheets, and I'm starving.

OK, on to the existential crisis. I had decided to take the summer off of school. I'm starting to get the sneaking suspicion that it is partly because I am scared of making a 2-year commitment to... well, anything. I'm honestly not sure that this is where I want to be, and I have absolutely no idea where that place might be. It's really bothering me. I'm feeling really unsettled and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Before I can deal with that, though, I gotta fix the karma. Any suggestions will be carefully considered. And screw the cleanse- I just ordered Thai food.

Edited to add: I'm sorely disappointed in my Thai food. The "Bangkok Delight"? Sucks. So basically I just blew the cleanse and spent $20 on spring rolls. Hmph.

grey and rain and thunder and pissiness

Today the weather matches my mood exactly and I am here to tell you, it is not pretty.

So, I'm doing this 5-day "cleanse" that involves eating nothing but brown rice and vegetables- no salt, sugar, dairy, or caffeine- except one cup of green tea a day, like that's sufficient- and lots of water with lemon juice. It's supposed to detoxify my system, but so far it's only succeeded in making me so tired that I actually fell asleep in yoga yesterday. After our standing series, we all lie down on the floor on our bellies and do a series of floor postures with one deep breath in between. During one of my deep breaths I dozed off and woke up like 10 poses later. How embarrassing.

In other news, I've been a little disallusioned with the world in general lately, so I decided I needed some uplifting. Bill will probably moan and groan over this, but I'm starting a West Wing marathon. All 7 seasons, starting today. Prepare for the quoting.

addenda

Two more things:

Did anyone catch the Sean Penn/Stephen Colbert Metaphor-off on Comedy Central? It was quite honestly one of the funniest things I've ever seen. GOLD. You can watch it here.

Also? Best word-of-the-day ever.

John Barleycorn \JAHN-BAR-lee-korn\ noun

: alcoholic liquor personified

Example sentence: "Eureka was, after all, the last home of Carry Nation, that ax-wielding foe of John Barleycorn, Demon Rum and all their evil ilk." (Charles Allbright, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, November 19, 2003)

Did you know? "Inspiring bold John Barleycorn! / What dangers thou canst make us scorn!" Robert Burns wasn't the first to use "John Barleycorn" as a personification of liquor when he penned those lines in his poem Tam O'Shanter in the late 1700s. The term had been part of English vernacular for more than 150 years before Burns's heyday, but the poet played a key role in popularizing it by carrying it into literature. "Barleycorn" undoubtedly became part of that euphemism for alcohol because barleycorns (that is, grains of barley) are a key ingredient in malt liquor. And "John" has long been used as a generic name or personifier in English.

Brilliant.

help me.

So, randomly, I never in a million years had considered the option that I might have daddy-abandonment issues... I mean, my parents divorced when I was young, but I saw him fairly regularly, and we're not actually all that close, so it had never really occured to me. But the other day I was talking to Tom, and I was having this really terrible, horrible, no good very bad day, and he told me I could call him anytime, "[he's] not going anywhere"- and I just... burst into tears. I don't think I've ever had a man in my life say that to me (and mean it). It was a weird moment for me and my somewhat wobbly self-actualization.

In related news, in case you care about my relationship status, my gentleman friend and I have decided to dial it down a notch. Doing the long-distance thing added a whole new level of commitment/serious-ness to what was just a budding relationship, and it was affecting both of us pretty strongly there around the 2-month mark. We were handling it very differently, and I think there was just a little too much stress involved for something that should still be new and exciting. Probably none of you are surprised, but I was actually, and have been pretty down about it, so please keep your snarky comments to yourself (Uncle Al).

This show has been insanely busy, and not at all fun, but the giveaways here are crazy!! I got an autographed cd from Huey Lewis and a pink iPod shuffle. Jule got a Coach wristlet! Wha? I'm used to light-up pens and stress balls shaped like red blood cells. Want to lay bets on how long it takes me to lose the shuffle?

So, I come home Monday and stay there for 5 days. I've been gone for over 2 weeks already, so I feel I will probably hermit up and stay there, but if you'd like to come visit, please do. I would love the company.

1 hour down, 15 to go. XOXOX

next stop

OK, my week in LA is over. I'm leaving sunshine/60-70 degree weather for snow/30-40 degree weather. Hello, Denver! I'm so glad I only brought a jacket. *groan* I checked the weather before I left last week and it said 50s, dammit! In better news, I'm hoping to get to run into Jule as she is attending the show I'm working.

I had a really nice time here... Nathaniel actually likes that cloudy, gloomy weather we had last weekend but I think I would fall in love with the sunshine in no time. I certainly am not happy about the prospect of snow, especially since I just bought a new computer bag with wheels (in lieu of a backpack).

In other news, I've added a link to the left that tells you not only where I am, but how long I am going to be there. Not sure how many people actually check that, but now you will know how long you have before you can see my smiling face, or talk to me about what happened on Grey's Anatomy last night. (Yes, yes; I know it was a recap show- that was a synecdoche.) Oh, and Krysten is going to be in Atlanta when I'm there next month! Whoop whoop! I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving, so that will be a real treat.

hell-lay

Greetings from sunny gloomy, cloudy, chilly Los Angeles. Seriously, I ordered up the most perfect sunny, 60-70 degree weather for Nathaniel's visit... like, the best weather Texas has all year. And yet, he can't even get me sunshine in Southern California?! Hmph.

Celebrity sighting #1: We were walking his dog Nico up in the Hollywood Hills on Friday afternoon and I saw Eric Stoltz. Walking with a lady and holding a baby. Literally, like, holding the baby up in the air and movie-star-smiling at it. It was hot.

Since the weather is so crappy, I think we're going to go see a movie today. And also, at some point I get to have MEAT. Lent is over! Happy Easter!!!

eureka!

OK, so, I know I've been away for a while, but this week I actually worked, and then my friend Ashley spent the weekend with me, and other than that it's just been busy busy busy laundry and cleaning and errands and yoga and school school school.

Just yesterday I was lamenting to Ashley about how I thought my new vacuum cleaner didn't work very well, and I had already donated the old one, so this morning when I got it out, I decided to try and clean out the little plastic chamber that it has instead of a bag. It wasn't full yet, but I thought it was worth a shot. So, I pop it out to dump it, and in the tube that runs from the vacuum part to the chamber part was a rubber belt-like strap, just sort of stuffed in there. I was like great, no wonder it doesn't work- this belt thingie fell off and who knows where it came from or if I can reattach it! However, upon closer inspection, I realize the belt says "Dell." It's totally the fastener that goes around my laptop's power supply!! Which I haven't seen for months, and I totally assumed I left at a hotel or something. Which means, that not only does my vacuum cleaner work, it obviously works better than I thought it did... I can't believe it sucked up that thing.

Yesterday, out of nowhere, I got this shirt in the mail from Krysten!! For no reason at all, except that she's awesome and apparently, loves to send me presents for her birthday to make me feel worse about not sending her gift yet. Awwww, Krys!!! In better news, I've actually finished the gift and bought the card... just need to get to the post office.

Big, bad test on Tuesday and then leaving for Los Angeles on Friday. Whoop whoop!!