Saturday, April 21, 2007

help me.

So, randomly, I never in a million years had considered the option that I might have daddy-abandonment issues... I mean, my parents divorced when I was young, but I saw him fairly regularly, and we're not actually all that close, so it had never really occured to me. But the other day I was talking to Tom, and I was having this really terrible, horrible, no good very bad day, and he told me I could call him anytime, "[he's] not going anywhere"- and I just... burst into tears. I don't think I've ever had a man in my life say that to me (and mean it). It was a weird moment for me and my somewhat wobbly self-actualization.

In related news, in case you care about my relationship status, my gentleman friend and I have decided to dial it down a notch. Doing the long-distance thing added a whole new level of commitment/serious-ness to what was just a budding relationship, and it was affecting both of us pretty strongly there around the 2-month mark. We were handling it very differently, and I think there was just a little too much stress involved for something that should still be new and exciting. Probably none of you are surprised, but I was actually, and have been pretty down about it, so please keep your snarky comments to yourself (Uncle Al).

This show has been insanely busy, and not at all fun, but the giveaways here are crazy!! I got an autographed cd from Huey Lewis and a pink iPod shuffle. Jule got a Coach wristlet! Wha? I'm used to light-up pens and stress balls shaped like red blood cells. Want to lay bets on how long it takes me to lose the shuffle?

So, I come home Monday and stay there for 5 days. I've been gone for over 2 weeks already, so I feel I will probably hermit up and stay there, but if you'd like to come visit, please do. I would love the company.

1 hour down, 15 to go. XOXOX

2 Comments:

Blogger krysten said...

hold on a sec...you get giveaways??? the hell?? that's awesome!

and ps - it doesnt matter if you were close to your dad or not, or if it seemed to matter or not. we're made to have a male figure in our lives...and without one, we just try to substitute whatever we can find. that always meant lots of different b/fs for me.

the newest development for me with the issue is that my father has recently become involved in my life, ever since my son was born. it has truly thrown a wrench into my "dealing without daddy" lifestyle. i'm not sure what to do with a dad now... i swear, the crap just never ends, right?

well, if you need some venting and sorting, call me...i'm very familiar with this one. ;-)

see you soon!

April 21, 2007 10:27 AM  
Blogger Brain Diva said...

I don't have much good to say, but I do give good hugs. :) *hugs* Oh, and you know I'm always there to listen.

April 25, 2007 2:03 PM  

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