Phi-LOST-ophy 101

Caveat emptor: extreme nerd alert!!

OK, so, I just spent a couple of hours on my Psych class (Human Growth and Development). The online thing is pretty cool, actually. My instructor puts together powerpoint presentations complete with audio lecture and imbedded videos, so I read the chapter, then watch the "lesson" and take notes. Kinda just like class! Only in my pajamas. Nice. Unfortunately, I made a 60% on my first quiz. *frown* Welcome back to college, Jamie. And hilariously, it was over the very very first lesson, aptly entitled "Orientation." I think it was mainly to get us acquainted with how this online thing works... I can't believe I missed 2 out of 5. Guess I should have watched it again. I am happy to note, however, that we have a discussion board, where I feel right at home.

OK, so, my second lesson is the first chapter of my book Development Through The Lifespan. You know how the first chapter of a textbook is always really boring history and theories? Yep, same here. And since this is lifespan development, we are obviously going to start at the beginning, with the most basic of psychological debates, Nature vs. Nurture.

Imagine my surprise and undeniably geeky glee to discover the two main opposing theorists in this debate were John Locke and Jean Jacques Rousseau.

Nurture. In medieval Europe (6th-15th centuries), little emphasis was placed on childhood as a separate phase of life: a view called preformationism, where once children emerged from infancy, they were regarded as miniature, already-formed adults. John Locke was one of the first philosophists to introduce behaviorism. He viewed a child as a "tabula rasa," or "blank slate." According to his ideas, children are, to begin with, nothing at all, and all kinds of experiences can shape their characters. Locke described parents as rational tutors who can mold the child in any way they wish through careful instruction, effective example, and rewards for good behavior. His philosophy led to a culture-wide change in child-rearing.

Nature. In the 18th century, a French philosophist named Rousseau discerned that children were not blank slates, but noble savages, naturally endowed with a sense of right and wrong, and with an innate plan for orderly, healthy growth. Rousseau believed, unlike Locke, that a person's built-in moral sense and unique way of thinking and feeling would only be harmed by adult training. His philosophy stated that a parent should be receptive to the child's needs at each stage of development, and natural maturation (a genetically-determined naturally unfolding course of growth) would occur. Rousseau thought a child's inherent nature determined his destiny.

Discuss. I need ideas for my assignment. *wink*

cram cram cram!!

So, I've come to terms with the fact that June is going to BLOW. It's only a month, Jame, it's only a month. I got back into my psychology class (it cost $88 more now but at least I got in). Both classes I am taking are first summer term, meaning yesterday through July 5. I leave Monday for 3 shows back-to-back-to-back, and when I come home from that on the 26th, I'll basically have finals and then no school and no work for the entire month of July. What? Couldn't have worked out so I could go to school when my work schedule isn't horrendous? Geez. I might even have to drive to TCC on a layover from Ft. Lauderdale to Denver on the 11th and take a midterm. No joke! It's like that J-Term of my junior year, when I took Modern Theatre (pardon me while I vomit in my mouth a little bit) from 8-11:30am, had rehearsal from 1-4pm, waited tables from 5:30-midnight, and then met my class in the dorm lobby to get ready for the next day's class. Every day. For a month. And I was only like 20 then. *deep breath* "OK LET'S DO IT!"[/Rachel Green]

One of the things I've decided I have to do in order to stay focused and on top of things is pretend to myself like I actually have class- physically set aside 2 hours a day that I must spend in front of the computer with my lessons. With no music and no IM. *cringes* Today I have to drive over to the bookstore to get my books, have lunch with Angela and Sandy, and then really get down to business.

Oh, and while I was cleaning up my old "office" stuff, I came across this picture from New Year's Eve, 2003- right before I left for NYC. I don't know why I love it so much, but I just think it's hysterical. It's kind of a random grouping of people (not that we're not all friends, but I don't think the 5 of us and only the 5 of us have ever taken a photograph taken together, and might not ever again), and it's completely candid and specifically, the fact that I am smiling normally and Ryan and Amy are hamming it up just makes me giggle everytime I look at it. I'm not even sure who took it, or how I got it, as I am clearly holding my camera in the photo. From left to right: Kathryn Blackman, yours truly, Ree-an (hovering above) Angel, and Amy. Good times:

"I hate Mondays but they always come around eventually."

Happy Memorial Day. I've been observing the inside of my eyelids for about 10 hours now, which as you know, is very unlike me. Truth is, I'm a little blue. I never know who's reading my blog - a cursory glance to my statcounter reveals more strangers than friends - but lately I feel like my blog has been extraordinarily superficial: a meme here, a tv discussion there, a movie review here, a funny story there. That to say, when I need to talk something out, this is not a place where I usually do it, and maybe it should be. I mean, what's the point, really, of having this thing if not to WRITE in it, and actually communicate with people?

Blah blah blah, she blathers. So, what's going on in my life:

I got dropped from my online psychology class because I didn't pay by the due date. First clue maybe trying to go to school while holding down a full-time job might be precarious? Perhaps. Of course it is full now so I keep checking every day to see if someone drops but if I can't get in, that means I will need three classes in the fall. That will be 10 hours, all while working full-time. I'm not sure if I can do it. I really want to apply to nursing school in October (to start in May) but I'm not sure they're going to take me - they only take 20 a year and they'll have to not only take my word for it that I'll finish my prereqs but take my word for it that I'll make good grades. I'm stressed about it, because I don't want to put my 3-year plan on hold for another year. If I do have to put it on hold for another year, then I'm not sure I can keep my current job until May 2008. I like it but it's starting to wear on me. And if I don't keep it, I'm not sure what else I would do. I'm not sure I could go back to being a 9-to-5-er. I'm all over the board on this one.

Next issue: I've been "dating" a couple of guys for a few weeks. One who I like, but I'm not sure is going to work out, and one who could probably work out if I wanted it to, but I don't really like. Spare me the psycho-analysis; trust me, I am aware. Anyway, Saturday night was kind of a big deal for me and one of them, and I haven't been out of my pajamas since. Not necessarily because I'm SAD... but more because I'm pensive and I'm racking my brain and I can't think about anything else. Even eating is an inconvenience for me right now. I'm trying desperately to think about how he is feeling, as a) I'm not sure he's thinking about how I am feeling, and b) I'm pretty sure collective not thinking about how the other person is feeling might have been the downfall of every important relationship in my life. But I'm not sure I'm doing a very good job. (What? Jamie, not good at relationships? Surely you jest!) Not even the magic 8-ball is guiding me today.

I came to the realization that what I really wanted yesterday is a friend - I know I have plenty of very good friends online I could chat with (and did, thanks to you over on the east coast!), and I have plenty of very good friends just a phone call away I could talk to (and did, thanks to you over on the west coast!) , but a real-life flesh & blood friend to come over and suss it out with me and tell me everything is going to be OK. But those days- the college days your 5 best friends were within walking distance of your bedroom, the days that you didn't have to tell someone an hour-long story just to get them up to speed because they already knew everything that was going on in your life, the days of free time and overly-dramatic emotional trauma- those days are over. I'm not only perfectly capable of taking care of myself... I kinda have to.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining or woe-is-me-ing or fishing for someone to show up at my doorstep with ice cream and cookies. I'm merely providing commentary on the paths of life and the tricks of growing up. I've always prided myself on being a strong person- these are the times to put it into action. I KNOW everything is going to be OK. That's just the way I roll.

Home, sweet, home

Home!! I worked 102 hours in the last 8 days and slept for 12 hours last night. I was supposed to stay the weekend in San Diego with my friend Sloane, but she picked up a tick in Peru and might have Lyme disease. Needless to say, she was feeling under the weather, and on the off-chance it isn't Lyme, but something contagious, we decided it was better that I visit another time. I'm sad to not see her and I certainly hope she gets well soon, but I am always happy for the extra days at home.

I came home to a huge pile of mail, which will be ignored for several days, and new toys!!! I traded in my old Palm for a new, simpler one. I got such a good trade-in on my old one that this one only cost me like $20. And awesomely, I finally got my design-your-own Chuck Taylors from converseone.com. They are pine green and have a black-and-white skull pattern on the back vertical stripe (achille's) and on the inside. I love them!!


Now, off to a bottle of pinot and all my season finales!!

The X-Files

What am I going to write about when the TV season is over? Old TV, of course. Kiddo just reminded me how awesome Jessica at TwoP was with The X-Files recaps:

How did it all turn so sour for poor Agent Scully? Nine years ago, she was all Perky McBadSuit, all "I look forward to working with you, Agent Mulder," all "You can't possibly be suggesting that, Agent Mulder," and then she was like, "Wow, I just got abducted," and then she was all, "Dang, they killed my sister," and next thing you know, it's all "Shoot, I've got cancer," and "Yikes, my partner is dead. No he's not! Yes, he is! No, he's not," and before you know it, it's "Huh, I've been pregnant for six years" and "Geez, Mulder's nowhere to be found" and now, here we are at, "Shit, I had to give my baby to strangers and they're killing my boyfriend.

Hahahahahahahaha! Ha! Ahhh, I miss that show. I just bought Season 1 and it's patiently waiting for its marathon at Chalet J. June 26, baby.

Jack, I don't want to put any extra pressure on you...

...but if this doesn't work, we're all going to be tried for treason."

BAH! Not sure I love the set-up for next season (I prefer Jack at/with CTU) but I love the addition of Mr. Chloe, and what a lovely piece of acting from Mary Lynn Rajskub there at the end when he asked her if she wanted to talk about Edgar and she just nodded, her eyes full of tears. Don't you just know the writers had no idea what a hit her character would be? I love it.

I'm not going to say that I wasn't still holding out for Tony to come in (with his Cubs mug, natch) and save the day. He's bounced back before. *sigh*

Three hours from Grey's Anatomy, two from Alias, two from 24, two for LOST tomorrow... geez Louise, May is killing me!

Elementary...

It's Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's birthday. I remember this old theater in Dallas, The Medallion (actually the site of the world premiere of Jaws)- used to play old movies on Tuesday nights for 50 cents. I saw The Godfather there, and The Sound of Music, and once Bill and I went to see a Sherlock Holmes movie, and it was so awesome. The Medallion has since closed. *sniff*

ANYway, I TO-tally jinxed myself with the raving about my calm show, because I encountered a major problem this evening, of COURSE on Sunday, meaning no one was in the office to help me, which means I have to get up and go in a 7, instead of 10, like I would have if everything had gone the right way today. Stupid Jamie. *smacks head*

On that note, I need to get to bed. 24 finale tomorrow!!

it's another gloomy day in cloudy california

Seriously. What is up with this weath-ah? (I'm totally working with a girl from Bah-ston this weekend and her accent is rubbing off on me wicked bad.)

The show is going eerily well. I've had almost no mishaps. Those damn kiosks went up on the first try, all my missing freight has been found (and the show has well over 1 million lbs!), and we open in an hour and a half and there's no one at my desk! I'm just waiting for something really bad to happen, so knock on wood!!

Another chapter in Jamie's effed up dreams: Last night I had a dream I hooked up with Barry Watson. One of those kinds of dreams. Yeah, I have no idea. Anyway, I dreamed that we hooked up, and then he asked me out on a date. Yeah, again, no idea. So I went to his house, where I was supposed to meet him for our date, and he was just driving up, and I saw him in this weird little old car kissing some trampy blonde. Understandably, I was kinda ticked, and I was talking to his castmates from What About Brian about what a player he is. And then I ran into one of my exhitors who looks like clean-cut Billy Crudup and I went out with him instead. We had coffee and then I had to go to work.

Edited to add: An exhibitor left a ball-point pen at my desk that has Batman logos all over it, and a little cartoon bubble that says "The Batman has many back-up Batsuits stashed in hiding places all over Gotham City." It's completely random, and very cool. ("As, by the way, am I.")

greetings from cloudy california!

What are the odds of it being cloudy and icky in Southern California?? The answer is 17 to 1. I did the math. Hmph. I traveled all day long, literally, from New York City to San Diego and despite it being barely 6 o'clock here, I'm ready to order room service and put on my pjs. My shampoo bottle leaked in my suitcase so I just spent an hour cleaning off everything in my toiletry bag. My sink and bathtub are full of suds and my entire room smells like Pantene. It's nice, actually. I have a lovely corner room at the Courtyard with free high-speed internet and 2 discs of Battlestar Galactica in my bag and I couldn't be more content at the moment. That is, until my potato-chive soup garnished with bacon gets here. *weg* Oh, reminds me, Krysten, I have two raspberry recipes for you! Will post them over there next.

Aaaaaand, per Gina, a new meme! I'm sure Kiddo'll jump on this one. Pun intended. *wink*

Top 10 TV Characters I Would Sleep With:
(....and if anyone in my family is reading this, I'm totally just speculating about the pleasures of sex, of course. I'm still pure as the driven snow.)

• Jack Bauer
• Fox Mulder
• Tom Farrell
• Dr. Jack Shepard (I know he's a tool, but he's just...so.... HOT.)
• Dr. Sam Beckett
• Dr. George O'Malley
• Danny Concannon
• Christopher Hayden
• Brian O'Hara
• Dr. Derek Shepard and Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepard (what? as long as we're talking about fictional sex, right??)

Yes, so, half of them have doctorates and at least 2 of the others have Master's so apparently I have a type... and wow, my fictional sex life is geeky.

Cheers, J.

a little self-promotion

Just wanted to remind you guys about my food blog. I know Alan's not interested but some of you may be. Rob made fun of me on Friday night for taking a picture of my pizza, but honestly, it was so good I had to share. Which brings me to a secondary observation that one should always date someone who doesn't read one's blog. It's just safer. *weg*

In case there was any confusion...

I officially HATE Grey's Anatomy.

Tomorrow.

Farewell, West Wing.

OK, something I meant to mention earlier- anyone seen Panic Room 2: at 30,000 ft? It's called Flight Plan, and stars Jodie Foster. Rob and I watched it on Friday night and I gotta say- it kinda blew. Ebert gave it 3.5 (out of 4) stars and I've never been more disappointed. (OK, maybe not NEVER. Titanic beating out LA Confidential for Best Picture is in the running.)

We also need to talk about the finale of Gilmore Girls. Hello, random guest appearance Chloe!! I think my favorite part was when Lorelai asked the psychologist what she thought about The Sopranos and she answered "I miss Adriana." Don't we all. Which reminds me that I'm still 2 weeks behind on my HBO and I'm overly tired of Vito's storyline.

Saturday's going-away party for Tonya was fantastic!! We went to Dusk in Chelsea and stayed out way too late. I think we were in bed by 3:30am. Cemented the knowledge that Jamie really shouldn't drink too much and take the PATH back to Jersey, because if she were alone she would fall asleep and wake up in Newark. Yes, she's done it before. Thankfully she had friends on watch this time.

Yesterday I finally caught up on Alias (ohmiGAH!) and LOST (OHMIGAH!) and then went into the city to meet Tom for Blossom Dearie. She could not have been in cuter. We then proceeded to eat WAY too much Thai food and stumble blindly back to our respective trains. I came home to Tonya and the series finale of The West Wing, *sniff* and the 1st hour of the 3-hour finale of Grey's Anatomy. Just... man. It actually kind of reminded me of the 1st season finale of TWW, what, with the major characters hanging in pools-of-blood-limbo and all. Two more hours tonight! Geez.

This morning I got up to an alarm clock of a jackhammer (Thanks, New Jersey!) and did some much-behind work. It took a lot longer than expected and now I need to get moving so I can meet Tom for a 3 o'clock showing of Batshit Crazy Tom in Mission Impossible 3.

Schiller's tonight!

Hold me closer, tiny dancer

The exhibit hall is clearing out and it always makes me want to throw on some Elton John and dance in the middle of the empty floor a la Kate Hudson.

How's tricks? I've had a lot on my mind lately and quite frankly, I am not a fan. This show was unbelievably crazy and I hate it when work stresses me out-- I never want who I am to be defined by my day job. *shudders* Good news is that although the next few weeks are stressful as far as travel and work go, my July and August schedules look fan-freaking-tastic. As of right now I'm only doing one 3-day show in July!!!! In Austin!! I don't have August yet but I was told to expect only one show as well. Good thing, too, as my impending 30th birthday is stressing me out a lot more than it should. I know everyone else has already had their 30th birthday and you're all rolling your eyes at me... but it's still a big deal to me, especially as I consider going back to school and turning my career in a 180. *frets*

I'm still waaaaay behind on my television, so no one tell me what's going on with Alias and Lost or Gilmore Girls or the Sopranos. Geez. Speaking of television and my 3oth birthday, will someone please, please, please buy me this?? We can dub this birthday the year of snarky t-shirts. Since, you know, I don't have enough of them.

"There's a typo in the Constitution."

"Someone should look into that." "Toby's going to take care of it."

I. LOVE. Danny Concannon. I LOVE HIM. Do men like him really exist?? I think they're called grown-ups. Only on television? Thought so. I just spent the last 10 minutes of the penultimate episode of The West Wing with my hand over my heart and tears welling up in my eyes. Just... wow.

So, I know I've been MIA for a while... work has been kicking my ass. This show is CRAZY. I thought it would be so nice to work at home, but it kinda blows trying to juggle work and a personal life. I was an hour and a half late for my date last night. He cooked me steak though, so it was totally worth it. I scarfed that steak down in like three minutes and was all "so, you want my vegetables?" Hahaha! I promised the guys at work that I'd make them cookies this week but I only have one stick of butter. I still have at least 6 hours of TV to watch but I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep in about a week. I get to sleep in tomorrow (7am!) so hopefully I can get some rest tonight. I'm shooting for 11 but midnight is more realistic.

I'm watching last night's 24 right now and I AM FREAKING OUT. They just "landed" that plane and Keifer and his man-purse ran off into the night. I know I'm being incoherent so I'm signing off ye olde blog so I can concentrate.

But before I go, adding to my big list of greivances: people who call me back without listening to my message, people who use their hands-free devices when they're just standing around in airports, like they can't be bothered to HOLD THEIR PHONE, and lying liars and the lies they tell.

Stand back, Tonny....

....there's a new brunette in town.

So, you know how I always bitch about corporate giants like Walmart and Starbucks?? Well, today I went to Walmart to buy Starbucks. *palms face* Looks like I'm really a Texan again, eh?

OK, so, with all my Love Monkey-watching, I've really been in a straight up rock & roll mood. So, with a shout-out to Chanelle, my 'Pod has a new playlist: We Built This City. All rock, all the time. No pop, no emo, no alt, no folk, just The Who, Pink Floyd, The Ramones, The Doors, Neil Young, U2, The Clash, and more.

Incidentally, that little "remove before washing or wearing" tag in all new Gap & Old Navy clothing? Causes quite the ruckus at airport security. The more you know.

'Cause everyone's your friend, in New York City...

I was just looking through some old photos, and I can't believe I've forgot to post this until now.

So, about a year and a half ago, Evan and I were out in Manhattan with the TANC-ers: Gina (from Boston), Gen (from Toronto), Susanna and James (from Barcelona), and Bee (from San Francisco)... (and wow! how did we pull that off??) I don't even remember the name of this bar, but we were all having martinis (which had questionable names, if I recall), talking, laughing, a normal night out ... and out of nowhere, the bar becomes jam-packed with drag queens. It was the oddest thing! There were literally hundreds of them!! It got so crowded with them that it was hard to tell where the drag queens ended and the real New Yorkers began. ANYway, we came to find out that there had been a birthday party next door. A birthday party for a "lady" named Sweetie. Check out the size of her hand, yo. Wow. Just... wow.

It was crazy crowded, and I got felt up by two "men" who wanted to guess my bra size, I met a guy from NACOGDOCHES at the bar, and poor James, who speaks no English, probably sat there thinking "stupid Americans." And then it got so crowded that someone called the fire department, and they all came in in their firemen's uniforms, and we just thought they were just more um... flamboyantly costumed men, so we were all cheering and laughing, and then they made us leave and when we got outside it was snowing.

What a magical New York night.

So anyway, last week, more than a year later, Evan sends me some of my old mail, a lovely housewarming note, and a flyer he had cut out of a magazine. It was so nice to see a familiar face. If you can't depend on New York, who can you depend on?

my new obsession

I know I'm always damn-the-man-save-the-empire about Starbucks-- and I stick to my crappy over-priced coffee opinion-- but sometimes when I'm traveling, I have slim to zero choices in the non-starbucks coffee genre, and since I'd rather pull my eyeballs out that go without, meet my new obsession:


OH.

MY.

GAH.