Saturday, January 27, 2007

Hello, Hamlet

Meet my new pet. He was almost a boy, but since he was still a fetus when the literal plug was pulled, he didn't even have balls yet, just a little empty sack. I figured that probably would make him ornery and moody, so I named him Hamlet. That, and the obvious "tiny porcine" thing.

He doesn't eat anything, since he's well... pickled in formaldehyde, and he doesn't move around a lot, since his feet are tied and his belly is sliced from anus to thalamus, which I did myself with a #4 scalpel. When I'm not prodding around on his insides or removing his organs with my bare gloved hands, he lives in a big ziploc bag.

He could have been a super cute little piggy, had he had the chance to live, but he might've just ended up bacon. This way, I like to imagine that I saved him from Eggs Benedict or the Oscar Meyer factory, and he gets the added bonus of teaching me all about the cardiovascular and digestive systems. So far I've enjoyed having him around. He's cute and a great conversation-starter. The only downside is my sudden aversion to pork products, but I expect that will wane with time.


Blogger krysten said...


that is so disturbing and so cool all at the same time!

i can't believe you are wearing gloves...C'MON!

oddly enough, i was just planning a trip to our Body Worlds exhibit. weird.

and, no fair Tom!! you knew the whole time! i wondering what your "eating" comment was about....although, again, with the not connecting things with other things...

January 27, 2007 8:36 PM  
Blogger hello jamie: said...

I love that you said "disturbing and cool" because this whole time I've been saying "gross and awesome." Great minds, K, great minds.

January 28, 2007 5:48 AM  
Anonymous Sandy said...

That is the saddest thing i've ever seen, and i'm so sorry i looked. A little warning next time about the disturbing pickled animals in your sink? ;)

January 28, 2007 6:10 AM  
Anonymous Tom said...


This is even GROSSER than I imagined it would be! I frakkin' love it!!!!! I'm going to keep signing back on to this page, squeeling in horror, covering my eyes, peeking, closing the page, and then repeating the whole process all over again.

Disgusting and hysterical...

January 28, 2007 8:24 AM  
Anonymous Uncle Al said...

It's not gross, it's cool. Look, he's even trying to lick your hand.

January 28, 2007 6:48 PM  
Blogger iamchanelle said...

good thing i don't like meat. because now i am having a hard time even thinking about vegetables. or any food.

umm, congrats on your

January 29, 2007 8:29 AM  
Blogger The Bagboy said...

The second pic looks like you're throttling poor Hamlet.

January 29, 2007 11:10 AM  
Blogger Charlie said...

I'm not coming over till that thing is gone.

January 29, 2007 10:36 PM  

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