Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Disappointments

Well, I just had a really disappointing meeting at TWU. I was so excited about doing the accelerated BSN there instead of TCU... but it turns out that's not a probability... or even much of a possibililty.

An accelerated bachelor's program is designed for people who have bachelors in other fields. Basically, you just take the classes you didn't take the first time around. Since I have a B.A., in order to even apply to the accelerated program at TCU, I had to take 6 classes first (Elementary Statistics, Human Growth & Development, A&P I, A&P II, Nutrition, and Microbiology). My plan was Stats, Psych, and Nutrition in the Summer (done), A&P I in the Fall (enrolled), and A&P II and Micro in the Spring. I am allowed to apply to TCU (Feb 1 for Summer 2007 start) while enrolled in my last two classes.

For TWU, I need an additional 3 classes - Chemistry (ok), American Government, and Texas Government (the hell?), and I have to be completely finished with ALL OF THEM before I can even apply. Meaning, the only way I could possibly be done by Feb 1 is to quit my job right this very second, and take 4 science classes (with labs) and 2 government classes in the fall. Setting aside the fact that I'm single and not independently wealthy so can't just you know, not work, that would be a 22-hour semester. And since they only take 20 people and only offer this program every other year, there's basically not a chance of me doing it there unless I want to wait until Summer 2009.

Which is really, really disappointing.

So, it's back to Operation TCU for me. I'm applying Nov. 1 for early admission. If I get in before January I will probably have to quit my job earlier than planned because I don't think I can take Microbiology online. Another option is to get a different job here in town and apply to the regular nursing program at TWU... I think I could by Spring 2008. I'm about to sit down with all my literature from both schools and see what makes the most sense, time-wise & financial-wise.

Bill and I were talking last night about how easy it is to disappoint me, because I'm such an idealist. Unrealistically so, actually. Even with people - instead of starting at zero and earning points with me, you start off at "hung the moon." I always expect people to be the absolute best version of themselves - just as I expect situations to work out into the best-case scenario - and as soon as someone doesn't live up to their potential, I'm disappointed. Which is hugely ironic, seeing as how I'm one of the poorest decision-makers ever to walk the face of the earth, and you'd think with all the time I spend beating myself up, I wouldn't have any energy left to beat up the rest of you.

But, you know what? The more I think about it... I'm glad I'm an idealist. Who wants a half-empty glass? What kind of way is that to go through life, expecting the worst and being RIGHT? Nobody likes a pessimist... least of all the pessimist himself. At least if you expect that best you get the pleasure and excitement of anticipation. Plus, I think there's a certain degree of self-fulfilling prophecy that goes into one's outlooks. I expect people to be... basically good, so I can usually find a good characteristic in them. I expect my life to turn out OK, so I imagine I'll work around the disappointments around so that it does.

In other words, ad infinitum, no day but today.

2 Comments:

Blogger The Bagboy said...

I'm so sorry about the TWU thing. But hey, at least you're in a city with several high level schools in the area, so your fallbacks are still good schools.

I'm all for you looking to people to be the best versions of themselves. I'm simply of the opinion that you're setting yourself up for disappointment. But then, there's an arguement to be made for the idea that believing the best of people will make them try to give you the best.

August 02, 2006 11:36 AM  
Blogger krysten said...

i actually prefer the term "realist" to "pessimist". ;-) because they say that pessimists are actually living the attitude closest to reality.

as far as the half-empty v. half-full thing, i say just gimme the damn drink and be done with it.

sorry to hear about the plan not working out the way you had hoped though, that's too bad. but it seems like there are a lot of options out there, ranging from "just wait an extra two years and go for it again", to "start waitressing and go to school during the day". or you could just become a bum and play the lotto with the remaining money you have, relying on your altruistic attitude of people and your optimistic attitude on life's situations, and relying on your mensa brain to pick good numbers.

now if you excuse me...I have a box to pack up and mail. *wink*

August 03, 2006 9:10 AM  

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