food poisoning is not awesome

So, she got up yesterday in LA, the sun was shining, the birds were singing... Hello, Jamie was going home. Her home. Her home in which she had not seen in 26 days. She had her coffee, the same coffee she had been drinking for the past 10 days, packed, and shuttled off to the airport in glee. She couldn't wait to get home, have dinner with a friend, sleep in her own bed, and go to yoga the next morning.

Oh, but the universe had other plans.

At the airport, Hello, Jamie stopped at Starbuck's and bought a roasted veggie sandwich. Rosemary ciabatta bread with spinach, squash, zucchini, mushrooms, roasted red peppers (which I took off, obviously) and some sort of pesto spread. Ironically, the night prior to purchasing said sandwich she was telling someone about the noravirus outbreak at the Moscone a couple of weeks ago, and how she felt safer eating prepared food that didn't contain any meat or dairy. Stupid Hello, Jamie.

She boarded the airplane and promptly fell asleep, even though she had a full 8 hours the night before and it's only an hour long flight. She woke up when the pilot asked the flight attendants to "prepare for landing." Her tummy hurt. Nausea, cramping, and so very tired. She assumed maybe it had been a somewhat bumpy ride (not remembering because she had been asleep) and that could have caused the queasiness. She stopped on the way to baggage claim for a coke. It tasted terrible, but the bubbles made her feel a little better. She threw it away though, because it tasted so bad.

When she got home, she felt worse than ever, so she canceled her dinner plans sadly (she's been gone for a MONTH!) and walked out for a ginger ale and a lemon-Calistoga. The ginger ale tasted like sugar and the Calistoga tasted like Lysol. She lay on the couch and moaned.

And then the vomiting started. After that she felt a little better, but still queasy. She tried to drink some water, as she was parched. Then she started vomiting the water. THEN she started dry-heaving, shaking, shivering, and cursing Starbucks from the floor of the bathroom.

Finally, around 9pm, she was so thirsty she couldn't stand it, so she had some ice chips. Then a sip or two of water. Then a little peppermint tea. Then some ginger ale, which suddenly tasted so amazing she finished the entire bottle. By the time 10 o'clock rolled around all said liquids were still in her body, so she went to her lovely, cooshy bed she had missed so much and slept for 11 hours.

Now she is starving. And tired, and dehydrated.