lately I've been thinking 'bout some pretty strange things...

...more than I'll admit.
Like the exact moment when the milk goes bad, and even then, isn't it good for something?
But not as much about why bad things happen to good folks and age old questions,
But more about why good things happen at all, and why I don't notice them...

Here's lyrics to the whole song, if you're interested. Lately I've been thinking some pretty strange things, too, but more like why does Comedy Central show so many horror movie trailers?

Anyway, I've got some pretty serious bad karma (and ... again), and I really need to turn it around. I have had a pretty shitty couple of weeks... I worked like 100 hours while I was in Denver, I've been under some fairly serious emotional distress, and I think I'm in the middle of an existential crisis. And by existential, I mean where to exist in this world more than the next one. So maybe existential is the wrong word. But, whatever.

Today I realized that the Fed Ex I dropped off to the midnight clerk on Sunday night never left the bellman's closet. Meaning in addition to the fact that my show files aren't back at the Boston office, neither are my $1200 worth of expense reports that I really, really needed to be on this week's paycheck.

I also realized that I need to do laundry for my trip on Saturday, and I'm out of detergent and dryer sheets, so I would have to go back to the store, even though I went yesterday to get toilet paper, which I forgot when I went on Monday. Geez. So I thought I'd go on my way to yoga. I briefly considered that it was a somewhat ill-laid plan to leave in 5pm traffic to run an errand and indeed, was I correct.

I got hit by a truck turning from the wrong lane - or it could be that I was turning from the wrong lane; I'm honestly not sure, but he didn't pull over anyway, so it's kind of a moot point. Either way, the damage is only cosmetic (and minor) as far as I can tell, but I'm still pretty pissed. Then I stopped at Whole Foods to get detergent and laundry sheets... why are eco-friendly dryer sheets like $14? The hell? I also got stuck in the "12 Items or Less" lane- the lady in front of me couldn't decide whether to pay with cash or plastic, and then once she made up her mind, had to count out her exact change, resulting in my being too late to go to yoga. So I drove up to Central Market, where my Seventh Generation detergent I had just bought was $2 cheaper, but they still didn't have dryer sheets. Grrr~

So anyway, now I'm back at home. I didn't work out, I didn't get dryer sheets, and I'm starving.

OK, on to the existential crisis. I had decided to take the summer off of school. I'm starting to get the sneaking suspicion that it is partly because I am scared of making a 2-year commitment to... well, anything. I'm honestly not sure that this is where I want to be, and I have absolutely no idea where that place might be. It's really bothering me. I'm feeling really unsettled and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Before I can deal with that, though, I gotta fix the karma. Any suggestions will be carefully considered. And screw the cleanse- I just ordered Thai food.

Edited to add: I'm sorely disappointed in my Thai food. The "Bangkok Delight"? Sucks. So basically I just blew the cleanse and spent $20 on spring rolls. Hmph.