Sunday, June 11, 2006

online dating

I want my money back.

I know so many people who have had such wonderful luck with it! Me? Not so much. Probably because there's about 60 messages in my inbox and ohhhhh, one in my outbox. Am I being too picky? Let's have a new reality show right here at No Day but Today - you guys decide which of these men I should attempt to establish a meaningful relationship with:

  • the guy from Minnesota with the bus pass?
  • the guy who spells it "web sight"? (as if he can log onto the internet without seeing that word spelled correctly)
  • the guy who thinks Jimmy Buffet wrote "Brown Eyed Girl"?
  • the atheist?
  • the guy who doesn't own a television?
  • the guy who says "make due"?
  • the guy whose handle is "Oliver Clozoff"?
  • the guy who under "hobbies," wrote "no TV (except Lost)" and under "favorite things," wrote "Friends, That 70's Show, CSI: Las Vegas"?
  • the guy who said "you love to travel but you have never been over seas so your [sic] a traveller wannabe"? (Yeah, just that, end of message. No puncuation, even.)
  • the self-professed "mamma's boy"? (his words)
  • Flat Stan?
  • The guy who says "I browsed your profile and we have so much in common!" even though his hobby list is limited to football, basketball, volleyball, hockey, & baseball and he doesn't much like going to restaurants?

Seriously? Tell me I'm being too picky. I dare you.

25 Comments:

Blogger Sylvain said...

As a successful online dating retiree (going on 19 months with someone I met online), here's a piece of advice.

Stop reading the messages in your inbox. On average, women will get between fifty and a hundred messages per day for the first few days. Don't waste your time.

You sadly can't wait for Mr. Right to find you. You have to be proactive and actually do something! That's right, if you want to meet someone half decent you'll have to hunt him down. Go through the postings and send messages. Guys are always surprised when their inbox receives something. You'll get 100% of their attention...

My two cents...

June 11, 2006 5:38 PM  
Blogger MyUtopia said...

That sounds frustrating. I have known a couple of people that do the on-line dating thing and only one has gotten a serious relationship out of it.

June 11, 2006 7:22 PM  
Blogger hello jamie: said...

and OH!!!!! I forgot to list the guy who put his name IN QUOTES.

Hi, I'm "Jamie."

NO, I'm NOT KIDDING.

*beats head against wall*

June 11, 2006 8:18 PM  
Blogger Dannybrou said...

I am seriously cracking up.

June 12, 2006 6:27 AM  
Blogger iamchanelle said...

woah. woah.

nothing like a hot, illiterate, insulting jock from the midwest, baby. sounds like you have LOADS of sexy guys to choose from...

*thud*

June 12, 2006 6:55 AM  
Anonymous Tom said...

The gay world must have taken a few steps ahead of the straight world in the online dating circuit. I had some loser dates... but certainly not of this caliber. Hell, I was with one guy I met online for almost three years. I think the key is trying to figure out why someone is using online dating. Makes sense for you since you're always on the road. There has to be a way to filter out the guys who are using it for similar reasons... as opposed to being completely socially inept.

--"Tom"

June 12, 2006 7:20 AM  
Anonymous Sandy said...

ok, do you actually know "SO many people" who have had such good luck with it? because i actually know like 2. everyone else i've ever talked to says pretty much the same thing you did. . .

June 12, 2006 8:53 AM  
Blogger Bee said...

I gave up a long time ago. = 0

June 12, 2006 9:35 AM  
Anonymous Superman said...

never give up, little one. we never give up.

June 12, 2006 9:50 AM  
Blogger The Bagboy said...

As a completely socially inept guy (thanks Tom) who couldn't even get attention through internet dating, I have to say...you're being a mite picky.

I can totally see saying no to Bus Pass Guy, Atheist Guy (because of your diametrically opposed view points on the subject), Oliver, Sports Dude, and a couple of others. But seriously, you're gonna 86 a dude because he doesn't know who wrote "Brown Eyed Girl"? Or one because he doesn't own a TV? Or the "make due" guy (perhaps the most confounding of the bunch, in my opinion)?

I don't know a damn thing about dating, obviously, but c'mon. That's just my $0.02.

June 12, 2006 11:22 AM  
Blogger Brain Diva said...

I've met some nice people through online dating (& dated 2 of them for a while), but certainly, it takes a lot of time sifting through profiles to find decent guys. Plus, in my experience, the quality of guys depends on the service you go through. It is like the real world though in a way; the few people who are truly compatible with us are hard to find.

June 12, 2006 1:47 PM  
Anonymous Julia said...

I'd say really examine why you are doing online dating and then, like Tom said, that will help you figure out why someone else is using online dating. As far as being too picky, I don't think you are. If your sole desire in life is to be married, then you would have married some shmuck long ago (and probably be divored by now). You'd be happy for the moment about the fact that you were married but then be most unhappy when you figured out that you chose too quickly. You are dating to try to find someone to spend the rest of your life with so any little problem you have in the dating (or looking at profile) stage will eventually turn in to a huge problem later on. It's hard to be comforted when things aren't going to your own plan for our life but remember that there are plans for your life and they are plans to prosper, for good, for hope, and for peace. So...be polite when breaking all of these guys' hearts and know that it's okay to say no to someone because of any of the previously mentioned reasons. :)

June 12, 2006 2:41 PM  
Anonymous Tom said...

Hey, I get the "socially inept" thing. I'm about the straightest gay guy I know, so meeting anyone in a gay bar in New York City was COMPLETELY out of the question for me. Ergo, the wonderful world of Friendster and MySpace. It's tough to find someone who doesn't want to talk about the Tony's, Martha Stewart, Apple-tinis, or which Golden Girl you most relate to. *shudder* Ain't nuthin' wrong with "socially inept". I wear the badge proudly. The phrase I *SHOULD* have used in the above comment was "completely unable to relate to the human condition". I've seen some of the e-mails Jamie's gotten. I feel her pain... :-)

--tom (who's hoping no one was offended by my earlier comment)

June 12, 2006 2:54 PM  
Anonymous Wonderwoman said...

You are NOT being too picky...I repeat...NOT. And yes, i'd be put off by the guy that thought Jimmy Buffet wrote "Brown Eyed Girl"...and you already know how i feel about the guy that says "make due". It takes a very special someone to catch a superhero.

June 12, 2006 3:06 PM  
Blogger Brain Diva said...

Jamie, I wanted to add that I totally relate with what you are saying in terms of all these little things making you not want to date someone. I don't think it is necessarily being overly picky. While I know I personally don't want to date a carbon copy of myself (as Jerry Seinfeld says about the girl he dates who is exactly like him: "I can't be with someone like me...I hate myself!!"), I think that someone who can't write to save his life or who is not intellectually curious would kill me. I think it is just about knowing what you need to have in common with someone to be happy.

June 12, 2006 3:45 PM  
Blogger hello jamie: said...

I am so not kidding... the verification word for this comment is "poopy." I'm so amazed I don't even remember what I was going to comment.

I LOVE today. Poopy.

June 12, 2006 10:36 PM  
Anonymous YayCoffee said...

What? Bus passes are hot. ;-)

June 13, 2006 9:26 AM  
Blogger krysten said...

I think I know one couple who met online and got married...and it was weird and creepy...they met and by the next weekend were married. I dunno, just seems like thats a little premature. and who knows if they're even still together.

ok, about the spelling and punctuation (which i'm not big on using punctuation myself, but it's because i'm just LAZY not because i dont know HOW), to me it seems like men aren't as good spellers as women...overall. i know i may totally fire up some of the guys here by that comment, but they can just consider themselves "above average", ok? Point is, they can still be a GREAT guy even if they can't spell. and they can still be incredibly SMART even if they can't spell. for instance, Brad is NOT a very good speller. and you know brad. you know he's a wonderful guy, great husband, father, friend. he's got a good head on his shoulders, has a great job...yada yada yada. so theres my comments on the bad spellers. dont discount them as ignorant or unworthy.

i must hear more about Flat Stan! haha! so far, he's got MY vote!

about the jimmy buffet thing, is he "convinced" JB wrote that song, or just "mistaken"? because one is MUCH worse than the other!

NOT the atheist!

NOT the mamma's boy!

i would want to know what the sports guy thinks you have in common...and maybe he doesnt much like going to restaurants because he's a gourmet chef!

"always look on the bright side of life!"

bus pass doesnt have to be bad, neither does the no tv thing...brad and i didnt have a tv for the first two years we were married, and before that, my roommate and i didnt have it for pretty much the entire time we were roommates in college...say three years? and I'M ok.... *twitch, twitch*

the "traveller wannabe" guy, while seemingly insulting at first, might be able to TAKE you on trips overseas!

see? these don't all have to be bad!

June 13, 2006 4:05 PM  
Blogger krysten said...

i hope i don't have any typos in my comment...

June 13, 2006 4:06 PM  
Blogger krysten said...

ok, so i click through on your Flat Stanley link...and i see that he's gone to the Blarney Stone in Ireland (hey! me too!) - so i click there, and lo' and behold, but the SAME GUY who held Flat Stan up to the Blarney Stone held me and brad there too!!! I recognized the guy's jacket (i know, what??) and when i looked back at our Ireland pictures, there it was. and i thought maybe that was a uniform jacket (like they are ever than formal there...or that organized...), but you can see his profile in both pics and it is totally the same guy! crazy! so i had to share.

Flat Stanley pic

Our Ireland pic

June 13, 2006 10:41 PM  
Anonymous Tom said...

So the fact that Jamie hasn't blogged since this debate-inspiring post means one of three things:

1) Colorado is keeping her way too busy to discuss thoughts of life and love online.

2) She's sick of everyone throwing their two cents in.

3) She came to her senses, quit her job, and ran off to live happily ever after with Flat Stan.

June 14, 2006 1:14 PM  
Anonymous Tom said...

Ooo... I forgot the fourth choice!

4) She got a bus pass of her own...

--"Tom"

June 14, 2006 1:15 PM  
Blogger hello jamie: said...

Answer: 1) Busy. And that post? Just about life. Not love. OB-viously.

June 14, 2006 3:46 PM  
Blogger partygirljessica said...

That's the great thing about online dating: you get to be picky. You might want to try webdate.com and increase you choices.

July 20, 2006 9:08 AM  
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