Go ahead. I trust you.

Man, my brain is all over the place. I need writing prompts. I end up wandering around instead of actually saying anything. I like writing and want to do it more but I'm still getting used to this stream-of-consciousness word-vomit approach (journaling.... I think it's called journaling).

Today I wanted to write -- not edit, just write (yeah right) -- about teamwork. Something I've been thinking about a lot as I apply for job after job. Although this is a terrible time, it IS an opportunity. One I hope to never have again, but an opportunity nonetheless. Husband is still working, we don't have any real debt, and we're barely spending any money. I'm getting unemployment (for the next 3-ish months) and we're not in danger of losing our home. So I actually have the time to think - what do I really want my next career to look like? Do you prefer to work alone or on a team?

I've never had one of those "shut yourself in an office and work all day" sort of jobs. There have been aspects of it of course, in every job, but mostly my work has been group-focused and dependent on a team. And while there's something very attractive about a role that would allow me be alone to JUST WORK, would I miss bouncing ideas off someone else? I think teamwork has the opportunity to encompass the best of all of us. (Or rather, it should ... but that's another essay.) Then again, maybe it's the end of the world as we know it and I'll have to work from home for the rest of my life. What would that look like?

When I was up in Mendocino last month with my brothers from another mother, we did a little project. Ross bought a chandelier from a thrift store and stripped the bulbs, spray-painted it, and strung it with a row of solar lights. Our goal was to hang it from a tree. Side note: these are my very favorite kind of projects.

In order to hang it where it would get enough sunlight to actually power it, it had to go very high. At first they tried to put a ladder in the back of the pick-up truck (translation: they didn't try. They actually did it while I stood at the bottom shouting "this is not a good idea!!!") but it still wasn't tall enough. Ross tied a weight onto a rope, which he then attached to the wire that was going to hold the chandelier, and he, Dave, and Evan proceeded to try and throw that over the branch about 800 times. It was fun at first and then it got annoying. It was hot. We all had cricks in our neck from staring at the sky. We put it off until the next day.

We finally got the rope over the branch. It carried the wire. Which by the way had been coiled so got tangled and involved me untangling a one-sided snarl of thick wire that was attached to a tree branch 40' in the air. (Aside: I am freakishly good at untangling things and also at peeling off stickers. Two feats that seem completely unsuited to someone of my Type-A impatience but hey, I contain multitudes.) We then realized we needed to slip a rubber tubing over the wire where it came in contact with the tree, so it wouldn't cut into the tree branch over time. It couldn't make it through the snarls of the 50' long wire (plus we needed it you know, at the other end) so we had to start from scratch.

Back came down the rope, back came down the wire. Added the tube. Discussed at lengths ways to affix it so we could position it correctly. Discussed the pros and cons of every idea from chewing gum to climbing the tree and adjusting it once it was up. At some point we tried something that worked. At some point we tried something that didn't. We just kept evolving to the next idea.

At some point Evan was explaining his next avenue, and gesturing with his hands, and using phrases like "no, the other end" and then, as things go, said, "do you understand what I'm saying?" Everyone was nearing frustration and Ross just said, "no, I don't, but go ahead - I trust you." 

It was not a large moment and I don't think out of character for either of them, but it really struck me. Go ahead; I trust you. How often do we do that? How much do we let go our inner control freaks and give someone else the reins even though we have absolutely no idea how it's going to play out? 

I can't remember if that idea worked or if we moved on to the next one but my end feeling of the project is that we all weighed in and we all got it done. Some tactics worked and some tactics didn't. Failure happens until it doesn't. No one was a control freak, no one was defensive, we pooled our resources and we got it done. Together. 

Go ahead. I trust you.