Saturday, August 20, 2005

Beethoven's Mass in C Major, and a post with no hyperlinks

I'm in Dallas now. Last night the gang went to dinner and I had the most wonderful evening... My truly amazing friends made it such a special night- so, thank you, Madison, Dave, Amy, Julia, Angela, Jonathan, Ryan, Taylor, Scott, Kathryn, and Carrie for making it such a special time. I wish I could give you Beethoven's Mass in C Major. Or Van Gogh's Starry Night. Or this beautiful moon. Or something besides the words thank you.

A couple of weeks ago I watched a documentary by Rosanna Arquette about women in Hollywood called "Searching for Debra Winger." A lot of it was self-serving, but listening to some of those amazingly talented women talk about how to "have it all" was really moving. It seemed to me that the non-American women were much more intuitive about the parts of life that truly MATTER: Charlotte Rampling, Vanessa Redgrave, Emmanuelle Beart. Salma Hayek expounded on how the only way for a woman to have it all was to be able to juggle. Her career, her hobbies, her passions, her relationships, her alone time. If ANY one of them starts outweighing the others, all balance is thrown off and everything suffers. The next week I read an article in Vogue about Jane Goodall (right behind an article on ARM lifts, of all things) - what a beautiful, strong, passionate woman! Someone's aptitude for a LIFETIME passion is always enigmatic to me. I feel as though my interests change with the wind. To truly spend your entire life focused on one thing is such a romantic notion. Last week I watched almost the entire 4th season of The West Wing, and although fiction, I always marvel at the amount of time those people spend at the office (and I can't imagine that it's that far from the truth). Their "night off" is spent playing poker in the office. They eat three meals a day at the office. They believe in what they are doing so much that it is their work time, play time, night time, and day time.

I believe that one is responsible for filling up one's own life... and has no right to complain when it is empty. Our generation is especially guilty of laziness, when the truth is that my life could be as full and busy as I want it to be if I'd just get off my duff and live it. I have passions and hobbies and friends and talents and it sickens me to think that sometimes I get bored and take what I have for granted. It is MY responsibility to live my life to the fullest. It is my responsiblity to read all the books I can, and spend time listening to my niece, and volunteer for those less fortunate than I. It is my responsiblity to learn how to make a pie crust from scratch, and visit places I have never been, and take walks, and listen to good music, and at least one time in my life, finish the New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle. I am not the first person to discover this mantra; obviously many have been here before me, not the least of which is Sir Henry David Thoreau, who said it much more poetically than I (I'm not looking it up now but it's something about living deep and sucking all the marrow out of life. Thank you, Dead Poet's Society). But I think it's an ongoing physical action. Something you must choose every day. And I intend to choose it.

Thank you to all of you who make my life beautiful. I hope I contribute to yours as much as you contribute to mine.

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