Will the real J. Hawkins please step forward?

OK, so, I get off the plane in Las Vegas, and go to baggage claim, and I'm right at the front of the mass of people because I was at the front of the plane, and you know how there's all those guys standing around in suits holding signs with people's names on them? Well, triple that for Las Vegas. At Baggage Claim 1, the moderate estimate is 22. Right up front? Dude holding a sign that says "J. Hawkins."

Sorry about the crappy picture but I didn't want him to see me so I used my phone. So, I duck behind a column (like he knew who I was, or something) and called Tom. Is this guy looking for me?? What are the odds of another J. Hawkins being on my flight? Who is this J. Hawkins? Tom, because he is a geek, wondered if J. Hawkins was a hot dude and wouldn't it be a cool story if this is how we met and fell in love. I just thought maybe I had been punk'd, and Ashton and my co-workers were waiting to pounce on me when I approached the suit man or something.

Anyway, I was talking to Tom when the real J. Hawkins walked up to the driver. I yelled "Gotta go!!" and followed J. Hawkins (inconspicuously, of course, by hiding behind people and whistling at the ceiling whenever necessary) until I could get a better look (and a picture):

Check out the belly!!! We have something in common!! So, that's all there is to that story. I thought it was pretty awesome. Are there any statisticians reading? I mean, what ARE the odds of two J. Hawkins' being on the same flight?

One more thing: Someone, anyone, everyone... please please please tell Krysten that she has to see Walk the Line. I saw it again tonight on the plane and I just think she has to. She doesn't think she can handle the smolders of Joaquin... but I say "Buck up, little camper. Everything's going to be all right."

In like a (red-hot) lion...

Ok, it is 90 degrees, y'all. NINETY. I just walked a mile and a half on the Katy Trail and almost passed out. I am packing sweaters and cords into my suitcase and sweating just thinking about them. I can't believe I have to get out my winter coat again.

So, I finally got a new phone (and a new number, e-mail me if you didn't get the updated info). I pimped it out with an Andy Warhol screenshot (right) and the Dallas theme song ring. It makes me giggle like an idiot every time my phone rings. Also, it has a camera, which is awesome just in case I ever again come across that crazy newspaper man, or run into Matthew Perry at Pastis.

It's been SO nice to be home, sweet home for a bit. I love my new apartment and my new neighborhood. I wish I didn't have to leave tomorrow. *sob*

Oh, and I finally got a haircut.

As promised...

OK, as promised, my fabulous weekend in NYC. Wednesday I moved hotels and did laundry and met Tonny for our anniversary at Under the Volcano, then did sushi and Irish pub. Thursday I worked from a coffee shop at 100th and Central Park West, and then went to the Park with Ev. We took some fun and awesome pictures. Krysten came in Thursday night and we, well... we did a lot. Here's what we accomplished out of The List:

(x) Corner Bistro
(x) Chumley's
( ) Alice's Tea Cup (just plain forgot... guess I should have been carrying my copy of the list)
(x) Museum of Natural History
(x) Pearl River
(x) Magnolia Bakery
(x) MoMa
( ) The Met (allll the way over on the Upper East Side... meh)
(x) Cowgirl Hall of Fame
(x) Toto
(x) Marco & Pepe (well, half of us, anyway!! *wink*)
(x) The Triplets of Belleville
(x) an H&H bagel
( ) Central Park (too damn COLD)
( ) Ray's Pizza (too damn FULL)
( ) Bethesda Fountain (cold)
( ) Gray's Papaya (full)
( ) The Unicorn Tapestries at the Cloisters (far)
(x) Little Italy

Pretty impressive, no? Krysten was a trooper. It was wicked cold and we did a ton of walking around outside. Thursday we met Tonya at Corner Bistro, then Evan met up with us at Chumley's, then Krysten and I found a secret bar with a hot, bald bartender and spent like, a hundred dollars on fancy drinks. I wish I were kidding. Then we ate tiramisu and I believe there were more drinks and we went to bed at 3:45. AM. Um... yeah. Friday we slept in, natch, got bagels and falafel (those were 2 separate meals, btw) and did 2 museums and a French film and then went downtown with Tom and pulled another 2am-er. Saturday we had the most fabulous lunch in Little Italy, did a little shopping, met Tonya and Tom at Cowgirl, and went to Evan's karaoke birthday party.

OHMIGAH.

It was SO FUN. They rented out a karaoke room in a Japanese karaoke studio. It was BYOB and had screens with awful b-actor cheese-scenes and mics and colored disco lights and everything. It was HILARIOUS. Krysten will have to give you her version of the night.... it was a lot different than mine. *wink* I started with a little "These Boots are Made for Walking." Schmev and I sang Sonny and Cher's "I Got You Babe." Tom dominated David Lee Roth's "Gigolo," then he and I did "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues." Tonny and I bow-chicka-bow-bowed through Captain and Tenille's "Love Will Keep Us Together." Two non-blondes brought down the casbah with 4 Non-Blondes' "What's Up." We got into a serious hair band run toward the end of the night and I think I lost my voice during "Bad Medicine." Whoa-whoa-whoa, shake it up!! It was another 4am night for me and I met Tonny at Marco & Pepe for brunch before Krys and I went back to the airport.

Aaaaand, the end. I came back tired and happy. I cooked myself a solitary meal and laid on the couch all evening. All in all, it was a super-duper vacation. Thanks Krys!!!

SERIOUSLY!

Valentine's came 2 weeks late this year.

Guess what I got in the mail today?

From a person who doesn't even read my blog, so had no idea that I had begged for it from anyone who was reading and happened to like me a little!! Heeee!

I jumped up and down and squealed like a schoolgirl... a schoolgirl in a convertible who just heard "September."

I have a Valentiiiiiiiiiiine!!!!

OK, gotta go. I have DVDs to watch.

This is for all my kara-OK! co-stars...

I will blog soon and very soon about my trip to NYC in general and specifically about our mad karaoke party last night (btw, is anyone else's throat killing them?)... but for now, I have dinner to cook, TV to watch, laundry to do, and sleep to have.

WELL. Today, I get to Dallas, and it's sunny and 65. That's right: about 40-50 degrees warmer than I've been for the last 10 days. The car rental place offered me a free upgrade to a convertible PT Cruiser. It's Clown Car 2: Electric Bugaloo! Well, it took me about 10 minutes to figure out how to get the top down (dirty!) but hey, it was 65 degrees, and I going to drive with the top down. So I finally get it situated, and drive out onto the open highway, wind in my hair, crank up the radio.... the first song I hear in its entirety??

September, by Earth Wind & Fire. Ba de ya, say do you remember?

You better believe that I sang it at the top of my lungs, sore throat be damned. That one's for you, Tonny.

Props, mad props, to all my NYC friends for a fantastic time. Pictures to come!! XOXOX

ETA: Who is currently my favorite Canadian??? I got the coolest "housewarming" gift ever today. You ROCK. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The List (and a copy of the list, in case anything happens to the first list)

I checked out of the Crappiest Western today, and into The Hotel Belnord, which is a clean, quiet, tiny hostel-like hotel on the Upper West Side. Teeny TINY. My room is like, 3' wider than the double bed. The double bed that I have to share with Krysten for the next 3 nights. Krys, I hope you like me a lot!!!

I was trying to dial up and my phone wouldn't work, and so when I called the front desk, he told me I needed to put down a $50 deposit before he would turn on my phone. The hell? I ended up paying $10 for 1 day of wi-fi, so you probably won't see much of me (or Krysten) for the next few days.

I have always said, if I was going to be a permanent New Yorker... if I was going to build a life and a family here, it would be the Upper West Side. I LOVE it. It's so residential. It's practically the suburbs. It's all quiet, tree-lined streets, brownstones, elementary schools, old people walking their dogs... this is where the New Yorkers live. It's so quaint and charming.

So, on to The List! I've made a list of all the things I want to do (and a copy of the list, in case anything happens to the first list). Sunday night, I'll let you know how many we actually did.

( ) Corner Bistro
( ) Chumley's
( ) Alice's Tea Cup
( ) Museum of Natural History
( ) Pearl River
( ) Magnolia Bakery
( ) MoMa
( ) The Met
( ) Cowgirl Hall of Fame
( ) Toto
( ) Marco & Pepe
( ) The Triplets of Belleville
( ) an H&H bagel
( ) Central Park
( ) Ray's Pizza
( ) Bethesda Fountain
( ) Gray's Papaya
( ) The Unicorn Tapestries at the Cloisters
( ) Little Italy

Cheers...ski

I sporadically toy with the idea of making another blog dedicated just to books, or just to food, but then I remember how much time I waste on this one, and I decide against it. So, if you're not a foodie, skip this entry.

I went to Pravda last night, another concept from the Manhattan genius Keith McNally.

Joyce and I ordered the Zakouski Platter, which had a sampling of spinach and cheese pirozhki, roasted eggplant dip on toast (which was somewhat like baba ganoush but had red peppers in it, so I didn't eat it), tiny scrambled egg/caviar tartlets, and crispy potato pancakes with a creamy cheese, fresh dill, and Scottish smoked salmon. It was like buttah. Then we ordered these lemon-parsley chicken skewers with spicy walnut sauce (again, with red peppers, blech, but the chicken was good) and these teeny hamburgers with french fries. SO good. Tom and Julio joined us by then and we all had dessert: they the warm chocolate cake with sour cherry compote and we the creme de cassis crepes with black currants. To. die. for.

Now, onto the drinks. I actually feel surprisingly well this morning considering the amount of Russian vodka I consumed. My first cocktail was the Leninade (*snort*) which was kind of like a vodka mojito: Citron vodka, lemon juice, and fresh crushed mint. It was really good, fresh and tart, but after that I moved on to the Gramsci: Pravda's own spiced cranberry infusion and lignonberries. Unbelievable. Very spicy and wintry- I think my favorite of the night. My third drink was the Ginger Fizz, which was ginger-infused vodka, lime juice, and club soda, with a huge slice of fresh ginger as a garnish. It was quite tasty, if you like ginger (I do) - I think the fizzy club soda was a great pairing with the strong flavor. After that we just moved right on to the Jewel of Russia, which is one of my favorite vodkas. I prefer the cranberry infusion, it's bright red and super-tart, but they only had Wild Bilberry, which was really sweet but low enough in alcohol content (about half that of regular vodka) to be a good move on our part.

Joyce left us for 24 but Tom and Julio and I stayed out until almost 1am. Probably not the best decision, as I had to be here at 7:30am this morning and won't leave until close to midnight. *yawn* BUT, it was worth it. Great food, great drinks, great company: all the ingredients for a letter-perfect GDE (tm Scotticus).

The innocent words of a child....

December 15, 1963

It's kind of hard to see since the tape has bled through the paper, but apparently, at the tender age of 14, my mother said to HER mother, "I'm not going to make my kids do the dishes every day!!" She then added for good measure, "I'll also not make them do ironing or washing." I love that my grandmother had the presence of mind and the sass to make her write it down, sign and date it, and then she mounted it on a piece of matboard. That's right. Go, Meem, go!

Also? I'm pretty sure I did the dishes every night of my adolescent life. I'm just sayin'.

Bygones.

There is no such thing as a grown-up. (GA Spoilers and Musings)

First of all, loved the Cristina/Burke dancing with the toothbrush scene. Awesome.

George? Get over Mere. You are way too good for her.
(Oh, and pick me!!)

Baby Bailey?! YES. But why do people on TV give birth to 6-month old babies?

I loved that McDreamy hurt his hand punching McCheaty in the face. Nice touch. Don't get a lot of realism at Seattle Grace.

I love love love Addison Montgomery-Shepard. She is the perfect blend of spitfire and vulnerability. She breaks my heart. And I love Chief Kirsch, too, but I don't love it so much that he cheated on Loretta Devine, who is awesome.

OHMIGAH I love that they named him McSteamy. That is so much better than my McCheaty.

Seriously George. GET OVER IT.

JON STEWART HOSTS THE OSCARS! Wheeeee! OK, seriously? this is the worst hotel room I have ever stayed in. EVER. First of all, I have told them three times that my shower doesn't drain properly. Will that stop me from taking a shower ankle-deep in water tomorrow? I highly doubt it. Also, due to the angle of the shower head (and no, it doesn't move), I have to stand right in the back corner up against the wall to get hit by the water at all. Which is cold. And while the "shower curtain" sticks to me. It's the worst shower I've ever taken. Also? the knob on the window unit is broken so I have no idea what setting it is on until it runs long enough to make the room either frigid or sweltering and then I have to adjust and start all over.

Cristina and the lionitus patient and the "nice eyes"? GAAAH! So sweet when she smiles.

Meredith? EAT A SANDWICH. Her facial skin is sagging to Teri Hatcher proportions. Ick. Her cheekbones are like weapons.

Speaking of eyes... SO why Shonda Rhymes dubbed Patrick Dempsey "McDreamy."

"I don't see what McDreamy and McSteamy see in her." "She's McHot." ace-high!!

I love Izzy. I cannot stress this enough.

McOrgasm looks like Minnie Driver.

Oh, Lion's "please" to his parents sent me WEEPING. OK, honestly. Is it possible to watch this show without laughter AND tears? From the same characters?

I could really do without the maxipad-as-pinball-machine commercial. *shudders*

Awwww, Meredith, George just totally laid it on the line for you and you could not be more self-involved. WHY do men like self-involved women? 'Cause it takes the focus off of them? WHY? The hell? And I can't believe she is blaming her dad for not trying harder after he found out that her mom cheated on him. GAH. McWhiny.

This hospital just has the most unfortunate of elevator meetings. I think I would stop going in there since it would be certain I would be seen by the one person I didn't want to see under seemingly horrid circumstances which they will never find out were not what they appeared, but rather a complete misunderstanding.

OH, McDreamy, you are SUCH an a$$hole. What a JERK. You know, there's all this discussion about "well, she cheated on him first" bullsh*t... yes, it was wrong. It was horrible. But he CHOSE to take her back. He made that DECISION, and I would hope that if I made a mistake of that magnitude, a person who vowed to love me as long as we both shall live, would give me a second chance. And once given that second chance, not continue to punish me at every turn just so I would be as miserable as he. JERK JERK JERK. You can't make a big decision like that and not TRY to make it work. Just your decision is not enough. Don't say you're going to do something if you can't actually do it. It's just WRONG. I hate McDreamy.

"....and I love you. What the hell is wrong with you that you can't just let me?" Well-played, Dr. Burke.

OK, I watched that last scene with my hands over my mouth, because I hated it so much. After the next-week-ons.... I am going to hate Meredith, too. She lives in a completely Merecentric World and George wants to move there too. What a cute, sweet, loyal idiot.

I am very glad to see the hot heart patient back though. He and Izzy had great chemistry.

The end.

The Great Firewall of China

I said I had some blog subjects in limbo; tonight's a good night to whip 'em out. That is, if my pirated wi-fi will allow. That's right, I'm in America, and I can use someone else's ISP to Google whatever the hell I want.

Not so much in China.

I read this article last week about Google's censorship of information in China. They launched a new search engine, Google.cn, that complies with the Communist Party's demands on what its citizens can and cannot view. Every time a website under the thumb of China's internet police (currently 30,000 and counting) is searched, two anime characters named Jingjing and Chacha (jingcha is the Chinese word for "police") appear on the screen to remind the surfer that Big Brother is watching. Seriously.

Some people are lambasting Google for "selling out" on their freedom of information mission, but Google feels it's better to reach 20% of a 5th of the world's population that none. Or maybe just their checkbooks feel that way.

See for yourself... if you search google.com's images for "tiananmen square," you get a lot of pictures of tanks. Perform the same image search at google.cn and you get tourist photos. Other "hot buttons" include "Falun Gong," "democracy," and "Taiwanese independence."

It's honestly unimaginable to me that we live in a world where RIGHT NOW, a technologically advanced country like China can still censor information. And they're doing it under the umbrella of a more "harmonious society." A Chinese-controlled newspaper said Jingjing and Chacha are primarily exist to "intimidate, not answer questions." Their official task is to "maintain order" and "publicly remind all Netizens to be conscious of safe and healthy use of the Internet," because the government wants to control the public opinion. CONTROL THE PUBLIC OPINION, y'all! Chinese authorities even blocked The Globe and Mail last month. Who finds Canadians dangerous?

When you were born on this planet, you basically had a 1 in 5 chance of being born Chinese. I imagine books like 1984 and Brave New World are not-so-mysteriously absent from the high school reading list of the average adolescent Chinese. Considering that censorship isn't the worst experience you could have, America seems a little more appealing, no?

I guess we should applaud the fact that Chacha is a woman.